Some of the things our cats say to each other are rather nasty. No wonder cats are renowned for getting into fights!

Luckily, Susan is a regular Dr. Doolittle and is in a position to understand most of this.

The other day, Panther came by the bedroom, where we have Glory behind a steel security gate for everyone’s protection. Susan missed the opening salvo of the exchange, but she did hear Glory call Panther an "unkempt vagabond". Panther drew himself up with as much dignity as he could muster in such circumstances, said to Glory, "Well, your breath smells bad", and stalked away.

After Susan told me what the to-do was about, I straightened Glory out a bit, reminding her that Panther was quite a well-groomed gentleman, even if he was (and he was!) formerly a wandering cat. I didn’t remind her that her breath does smell bad, courtesy of some periodontal problems that we’ve been working on with her.

I don’t know what set Glory off, but she’s not the only one to exhibit bad manners in conversation. A few weeks ago, Glory went to the vet because she had been under the weather, who told us that she should put on some weight (she was around 6 1/2 pounds at the time, and although she is quite petite, that is still too light). After we brought her home, I was carrying her through the kitchen past Jennifur, who said something that suddenly got Glory extremely agitated. I asked Susan what had happened, and she advised me to bring Glory into the bedroom.

After I had done that and came back out, I found Susan trying to stop herself from laughing out loud. She whispered at me, as though Glory shouldn’t hear and get riled up again: "Jennifur called Glory a ‘sickly pipsqueak’"!

(Anyone who doubts that Susan actually hears the cats talking like this should reflect on the fact that Susan never uses words or phrases like "unkempt vagabond" and "sickly pipsqueak". At least, I’ve never heard her talk like that, but then I’ve only known her for 27 years…)